So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
