There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
