i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
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