you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
She's like a pop up book from hell.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize