I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
