Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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