So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
