I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
