I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
We talked him into tasing himself.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
