Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
