yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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