I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
