road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
