i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
3pm strippers are depressing
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
