I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
