The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
