We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
