Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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