sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
