Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
