good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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