i don't like sucking hair
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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