Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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