My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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