You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
