I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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