Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
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