Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize