yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Randomize
