My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
The police scanner is talking about you again....
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
