Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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