yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
