Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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