omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Why did my mother make you get naked?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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