I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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