okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
