last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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