I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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