Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
