but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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