He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Randomize
