Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
