why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
