508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize