somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Randomize
