and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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