You're so nebulous sometimes
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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