why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
You had me at "let me see your balls"
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
