you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
