Where did you get a picture of my penis
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
