dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
