We're facebook friends in real life
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
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