if i died would you start the facebook group?
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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