I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
