fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
