when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
