can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
