Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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