Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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