I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Randomize
