you mean i was at the winter classic?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
