So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
foreskin is a definite game changer
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
