watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
