wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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