i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
